A Pebble in a Pond

The simple action of tossing a pebble or stone into the pond creates a ripple effect of concentric circles expanding from the spot in which it penetrated the surface of the water. Every positive action we make in changing our interactions with others also has a ripple effect. How we act and how we interact with others creates a dynamic which can continue to grow. It changes the dynamics of future interactions in which communication will no longer be the same as it was in the past. We can set in motion change in our own communication style that has the distinct potential to influence positive change in those around us.”

Jerry Manney, You Don’t Have To Go To Every Argument You Are Invited To, (book in progress)


Committed Relationships can be very challenging

I believe committed relationships ought to be valued by society in a manner similar to which we recognize scientists, movie stars and athletes for outstanding merit and accomplishments—with awards and trophies! So, I propose instead of celebrating anniversaries as “paper,” silver” and “golden,” the following ought to apply:

The first 12 months—the so-called “Honey-moon phase”—no additional awards or rewards necessary—enough said.

Years 2 through 10—“This is Not a Reality Show Award.”—You begin to realize you do not have the perfect mate, but you love him/her anyway. “Doesn’t he know what a clothes hanger is for?” “Why does anyone need that many pair of shoes?” “You are not going out of the house dressed like that, are you?” “Aww, you did that for me? Thanks honey.”

Years 11 through 20.—“The Amazing Pace Award;”—It’s juggling jobs, moving, raising children, struggling to make time for yourself and each other and just when you do—“Mommy I had a bad dream.” You seem to be always tired but it is worth every ounce of energy you spend. For those who do not have children, the day still seems to be filled with things that need to be done for everyone but the two of you.

Years 21 through 30.—“The Hi Oh Silver Award.”—There are graying hairs, expanding waistlines and receding hairlines while coming to the understanding that beauty is more than skin deep.

Years 31 through 40.—“The M.V.C. Award for Most Versatile Couple.”—You have learned to bend and not break and that compromise is not a dirty word but a sign of deepening affection and respect. You are also learning through experience that you do not have to go to every argument you are invited to.

Years 51 and beyond.—“The Lifetime of Achievements Trophy.”—As you look back at all of the joys and sorrows, you love each other more with each passing year—even though some days you still feel like pulling your hair out!

Jerry Manney, You Don’t Have To Go To Every Argument You Are Invited To, (book in progress)